'I looked over and almost all of them were looking right at me. I hurried and looked away. I was so nervous that I was shaking. I couldn't control it no matter how hard I tried. It was overwhelming.'
15 Facing Life Chapter 6 Part 5
I was sitting at the defense table waiting for my attorneys to get there. They arrived shortly before the two prosecutors. I immediately felt comfortable seeing them walk through the doors. I gave them my usual smile as they headed over. I knew what the first order of business was. We were going to be picking my jury for most of the day.
Eventually my judge entered the courtroom. He was actually newly appointed only a week or so prior. For whatever reason, the judge that had presided over my case for 18 months decided to hand my case over to another judge just days before my trial was set to start. I could be wrong, but I think my case was his first murder trial that he was going to preside over. I didn’t mind. He made a good first impression on me. He was very respectful and easy going and he seemed fair. After speaking with my attorneys and the states Attorneys at the bench the judge ordered that my prospective jurors be brought into the courtroom once they begin filing in, I was told to stand and face them watching them fill up the gallery. All of us were smiling and trying to connect with each potential juror. I tried my best to put on a genuine smile. I tried to calm my nerves as I had instantly become nervous while being in their presence.
Once they were seated, my judge got straight to business. He introduced himself to everyone first. Then he introduced the state’s attorneys, and then myself as well as my attorneys.
The energy in the room was good. It was thrilling, in the sense most people in the gallery seemed in good spirits. Some even seemed excited to be there. I remember sitting there and deciding to try and sneak a glance back at the gallery. When I did there was a woman staring right at me. I was so caught off guard and so nervous that I just froze staring back at her. She smiled at me and gave me a friendly stare and I could do all I could do is stare back with a blank look on my face and then look away. It was like my brain had frozen. I normally would have smiled back, but that wasn’t the case. I know that she felt some kind of way about that moment because she would not look at me anymore after that. Whenever she did, there wasn’t that friendly, almost flirtatious smile. Her new look made me feel like I had done something wrong to her. She would ultimately be one of the people chosen to sit on my jury and decide my fate.
I’m not going to detail the experience of jury selection/voir dire. It was very long and boring. I will say that picking a jury is a very very important part of the trial process. Picking a solid jury could decide whether you will get a fair trial or not. Sometimes it can mean that you will get a little more than a fair trial. You may get a compassionate juror who throws you a lifeline, or a second chance, even if the odds are against you.
Of course, you could end with a jury of people who can do the opposite. You may not stand a chance from the first day. You could truly be innocent, but there may be a majority of people on your jury who are conservative, pro police, pro prosecution, tough on crime based individuals. They won’t tell your attorneys that. They’ll answer all your questions properly just so they end up on your jury. And when it’s time to deliberate, they will convince other jurors to vote unanimously against. The other jurors may disagree for a moment, but will ultimately sign that guilty verdict because they want to go home and be done with the trial. Most jurors probably don’t know that their verdict doesn’t have to be unanimous. Sure, it has to be unanimous for a finding of guilt or acquittal. But if everyone signs the verdict and the total isn’t unanimous, their job is done. If the jury can’t reach a unanimous verdict, their job is done and a mistrial will be declared.
I don’t believe the procedure for picking a jury in Illinois is fair. It is ultimately, in my opinion, a system that prevents you from truly having an impartial jury. You are only allowed to strike a certain number of people who you believe may be biased toward you. I believe you get between five to seven strikes. The only other way to remove them is if they make it clear that they can’t be fair, or if there is some sort of conflict. Also, you can request the judge remove an individual for any number of reasons. Good luck with that.
The prosecution also has the same amount of strikes as you. They use them to remove people who may be favorable toward you.
You don’t just go in there and decide who you want. After questioning a certain number of people, you begin accepting or striking them in the order that they were seated. so, while I had about 60 people there on jury duty, we didn’t question or consider all of them. It wasn’t even close.
Also, the idea of having a “jury of your peers” isn’t the reality of what some people may think. There were people from all over Lake county, but none of them were from where I grew up. There were a sprinkling of people from Waukegan or Zim, but they were taken out of consideration pretty quickly. Almost everyone that we questioned seemed to come from areas far from where I grew up, and from backgrounds that in my opinion would have made it harder for them to be impartial. Areas that might have been more affluent, or not as diverse. Areas that didn’t have an issue with crime. Of course, this is only my opinion. I did feel uncomfortable at the lack of diversity in my jury pool. Almost all of them were white. It wasn’t a surprise when all 14 members selected for my jury were white. I don’t think that they were racially biased toward me. I didn’t get that vibe, nor do I have any proof of that. I’m simply stating that’s how the whole procedure can put you at risk of having a jury that is not impartial.
I believe we spent the whole morning picking my jury. The actual presentation of evidence began after lunch in the afternoon.
During this part of my trial, the courtroom was open to the public and would be moving forward. The entire gallery was full. Seated behind me and throughout were my family and friends who came to support me. Seated behind the prosecutors table were family and friends of Farkhan. There were also several attorneys and random people from the public watching my trial.